Thanks to everyone for their words of advice/encouragement. Things are hard, but I'm trying to learn to live in the now, not the what if. When I said my supply was ridiculous, I meant it is ridiculously GOOD. I need to count my blessings for that. Seriously, my body thinks it had twins! So, I haven't had to use formula (except for in the hospital because they were worried about her blood sugar because she is so small), which is good. Not that formula is evil... but at least I have breastmilk to give her. I had a really good appt. with the lactation specialist at the hospital yesterday, and she helped me realize some things. I was freaking out about giving Meredith a bottle (of breastmilk), but the LC helped me to see that that isn't the end of the world. It actually is saving my sanity to give her a bottle at night. During the day, I have to use a nipple shield and a supplemental nursing system to get food into her. We think she has a short tongue and needs to grow a little bit. I'll keep working with her. Every feeding is just a little stressful because it involves so many contraptions! Anyway, I have a lot to be thankful for, not the least of which is wonderful friends. So thanks.
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She is so beautiful- don't you just stare at her all day, and watch her when she sleeps :) About the hormones- you would be weird if you weren't crying at least 8-9 times a day. Hang in there, the hormones will even out. Everyone should get 20 boxes of kleenex for their baby shower gift :)
I'm glad things are getting a little better. The nursing thing can be very tricky. It sounds like you're getting things worked out though. I'm sure it'd be a lot easier to just give her a bottle. I can tell you're a devoted mother. She's a lucky girl!
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