Resolutions.

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After some thought, I've decided that I have two resolutions for next year. These are in addition to all the general things I need to do better at (lose weight, read my scriptures, write in my journal, you know, the usual.)

1.) Stop letting things bug me
2.) Live in the now

Let me 'splain.

1.) Stop letting things bug me.
I've realized that I need to grow a thicker skin. Some things (people, situations, comments, etc.) "bug" me more than they should. I'm pretty sensitive, and that's not a good thing. An example: Yesterday was the first day of Primary for 2010. While things ran considerably more smoothly than they did last year when we were a brand new presidency and I did not yet have my sea legs in my calling, it was still a slightly chaotic day. I had a lot of stuff I had to do during this past week to prepare for yesterday. In the midst of all that, Meredith and I each got that nasty stomach bug, so I lost some time. Therefore, I only did what I HAD to do to survive the day. This did not include making new class rolls - I figured I would just take the roll manually and transfer the information when I have new rolls made this week. Well, one of the teachers got mad at me for it. She asked for her roll, and when I told her I had taken care of it, she sighed audibly and exasperatedly and proceeded to lecture me about how she needed a class roll to learn the children's names, all the while talking to me as if I were a 2-year-old. Never mind that there was a class list in her binder AND taped to the door. This seriously bugged me. But WHY? Why can't I just accept that some people are difficult and get on with my life? Why did I take it personally when I know she is simply the type of person who looks for things to gripe about? Why do I have to carry it with me for minutes, hours, days? I'm determined to learn to let things go.

2.) Live in the now.
I've noticed that I often go about my day worrying/fretting/thinking about what's coming next. I need to live more in the present and "let tomorrow take care of itself". I think I'm missing out a little on the joys of parenting because of this. Instead of worrying about how long Meredith is going to be happy entertaining herself with her toys so I can get some dishes done, I should just enjoy the fact that I am getting some dishes done! Instead of worrying about if she's going to wake up in the night, I should just be thankful that in the present moment, she is sleeping. Does that make sense? I've been a worrier my whole life. I need to calm down a little. I once met with a psychiatrist (this was years ago) to discuss my anxiety issues. He said I was interesting because most people who sufferend from anxiety worried about reality whereas I was fixated on the "what-ifs". I've gotten a lot better, as in I don't need chemicals to help me control it anymore, but I still have room for improvement. A friend of mine once had a sticker on her rearview mirror that read "There is only now." And this is true.

So yeah. My hope for 2010 is that it will be year of significant improvement in many areas of my life, but if I can improve upon the above two issues, I'll have accomplished something.