I've started to feel really wiped out by this pregnancy, and it is taking some getting used to. At first I whined about it to Jeremy and my mom and my midwife, but I've been trying since then to just give myself permission to slow down. Who cares if it takes me twice as long to do things as it used to? It's not permanent.
I was out shopping the other day, and I found myself getting antsy for no reason whatsoever. First, Meredith took forever getting out of the car (she likes to do it herself), then I felt like I had to get in and get out of the store as quick as possible. Why was I in such a hurry to get my shopping done? It wasn't like I had someplace else I had to be. It was just a natural reaction. And this wasn't even a bad store. It was JoAnn's, and I love that place! (It's not like it was WalMart. I can understand the need to hurry and get out of WalMart - no one should be in there longer than necessary.)
I started paying attention to the way I felt through the rest of the day. Even as an at-home mom whose only real appointments these days are with my midwife, I still find myself in a hurry sometimes. And there's no reason for it, just that it is sort of... innate. Where does this come from? Is it part of being a woman? A mom? An LDS mom? An American? A human?
So I'm giving myself permission to slow down for the time being. It's going to be a concentrated effort, though! Yes I have lots to do before the baby comes, but I still have six weeks. Baby steps, baby steps.
This isn't to say that it isn't important to be on time. By all means, if you're late to a set appointment, hurry. I'm talking about the times we hurry when there is absolutely no real reason for it.
As was the case when I was pregnant with Meredith, I been into reading L&D/medical blogs. I do this at night on my phone when I go to bed. I find them enormously entertaining. I read this on one recently:
One way or another your body (and your health) becomes a priority.
Either YOU choose to make it a priority on your own terms, or your body makes the choice for you – eventually.
Either way, your body will win. When your health is in jeopardy, your body holds everything in your life accountable. (Remember how wonderful life was the last time you got the flu?)
You only get one chance on this merry-go-round, why not take the ride on your terms?
Obviously, this applies to health and the consequences for not taking care of yourself. But it's a good principle in general.
I'm also reminded of Elder Uchtdorf's recent conference talk. He tells us that he wise resist the temptation to get caught up in the frantic rush of everyday life. I know he's right. I know I need to train my brain to ssssllllooowwwww ddddoooowwwnnnnn.
Here's another question that has got me thinking (thank you, dooce):
Are you truly present in your daily life?
Anyway, I hope I don't sound preachy. When life is normal (i.e. I'm not pregnant and I don't have a newborn), I know that in reality I should be accomplishing more, not less. We all can do more. But I think we need to evaluate the pace of our actions and take the time to really pay attention to life, you know?
7 Talk to me!:
I totally understand what you are saying. I find that I rush to get things done so that I can rest longer. A trip to Target wears me completely out. So, if I go as fast as I can then I can get home and rest. If I go too slow in the store then I wear out before I'm done. Maybe when I'm going fast I don't think about how crappy I really feel.
I think this goes for our children as well. I feel like I have a hard time balancing to make each child get enough play time (time to be a kid) as well as time to do homework and then all the other activities (scouts, piano, basketball, etc) When is enough enough? It certainly makes time go faster when we are busy, but I don't want time to go by fast. Then I think, oh I'll cut back on the activities to simplify, but then the pressure of good transcripts and being a well-rounded individual comes into my mind for my children getting into college. I don't know why I think about college already, but again, it's because we're so busy and time is going by so fast, that I know it will creep up on me. Uggh! Sorry about my vent- but I completely agree.
Time is such a hard concept. Either you feel horrible because you are doing too much or horrible that you aren't doing enough. It's so hard to find that perfect balance!
Have you watched "Eat, Pray, Love?" I was just thinking about this exact same thing. Glad you're slowing down!
Awesome insights!
I've been slowed down as well. I'm trashed by 4pm and cry at least a couple times a week out of sheer frustration and exhaustion. On the other hand, it's forced me into viewing my life from a different, slower perspective. That's a good thing. I'm glad you realize that you need to slow it down and take care of yourself.
Thankyou, I was feeling like I was being lazy this pregnancy but now I can pat myself on my back for just slowing down :) Great reminder, I'm a rusher/multi tasker and I often forget to enjoy the moments.
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